…when someone you know passes away, suddenly. Your mind races back to your last interactions with them… and you realize that you’re going to have to live the rest of your life with that last bit of communication between you and that person.
What’s even worse is when you can’t remember the last impression you might have left on that person.
Every now and then, I’ll try to think of random people and the one memory that sticks out about them. Sometimes they’re good… sometimes bad.
Yesterday I got news of a high school swim team member passing away. He was probably only 24 or 25. Although I have many memories of him during high school, one sticks out in my mind. My sister told me of when they went on a team trip to Japan together, he told her that although people viewed her as a ditzy and superficial person - he saw her as something deeper, someone more intelligent. Ever since she told me this, I had this raised level of respect for him. It’s kind of crazy that the most strong memory of him that I have, is one where I’m not actually even interacting with him.
I only hope that whatever last memory he had of me, was just as positive. He’s certainly taught me a lot more than just ‘judging a book by it’s cover’… but to always reflect on how others may be impacted by what you do or say because sometimes it can’t be undone.
Iʻve been so consumed with reading the Hunger Games. Itʻs my new obsession. It seems that all famous love stories have a love triangle… mainly between one girl, and two guys. It makes me wonder if these love stories are so famous and intriguing because everyone experiences a love triangle and they can relate to the story - bringing personal meaning to the fictional story.
What is even more interesting is that the girl is almost always faced with the decision between what her heart feels and what her head is telling her. When is it alright to choose what you deserve or what makes more logical sense, in place of what your heart actually wants? Itʻs an interesting thing to consider that we havenʻt evolved yet to channel all our thoughts (from heart and head) into one consistent opinion. Weʻre such indecisive beings… which I guess makes us such complex creatures.
So, one of the thing that bothers me most about the world we live in right now is a term im deeming “cyber masturbation”. This is the cheap kicks that everyone focuses their time on these days. I believe this is deliberate. You see, keeping people occupied with trivial bullshit keeps from them…
I can’t stand it when the first thing people say is “oh you won’t get paid much” after I tell them I want to be a Social Worker. Instead of “thank you” or “what a noble and selfless job”. Really people? As best said by David Shakarian, “It’s not work when you love what you’re doing”.
My dream is that one day, there won’t be a need for my field of work. I’m working to put myself out of a job. When that day comes, it means the world is at peace. There is no hunger. No war. No abuse. No prejudice. No MAN vs. WOMAN or OLD vs. YOUNG (and everything between). There will be no superior or inferior - no strong or weak. There will be no world oppression. So when you’re dreading going to work while only thinking of your paycheck, I’m hopping out of bed to go out and help the world - not working a day in my life.